I don't know why I thought I would magically miss the wonderful opportunity to embarrass myself with choosing an absolute LOSER as the first guy I dated after I was dumped on my ass!
yup it happened
well there was sort of a guy before that but it doesn't really count and I am SO not going there
I was set up by people I trusted... still do actually they were totally fooled by the lunatic as well ..... I figured this was a safe way as while I WAS feeling desperate to do something to shut the door on Mr Ex I had no idea what I was jumping into... and jump I did
the red flags were pretty much flagging right out of the gate, the man actually left the fundraiser we met at to check on his dog WAY too many times. I like dogs but this man and his dog took man's best friend to a whole new level.
I am not sure a blind bull would have missed the red flags waving to be totally honest but I am assuming that this is what a rebound guy is all about .... you simply choose to ignore the obvious in any attempt to forget the memories you are desperate to escape.
My other blaring issue is that I didn't ... probably still don't ... know HOW TO DATE? I mean HOW the H E L L do you date in 2012 when the last time I "dated" I was like, what? 18? when cell phones meant you carried huge battery packs over your shoulder and the Internet was only in the extreme beginnings!! add 20 years, 20 pounds and well I was lost, haha ok understatement of the year but you get the point
I fell instantly into the role that I had played for 15 years ... submissive and pathetic and blind oh so blind ... I ignored it all just to be held and told what I wanted to hear although I started to get confused on that part as well!
I also broke my rules about man meeting children yah DUMB will only do that once .... I hope :) I said I am learning not necessarily a FAST learner!!!
So to make a VERY long post shorter somehow man loved dog more then anything which is actually ok because the obvious red flags were there for more reasons then his passion for his dog and when I say he is passionate about his dog I am NOT exaggerating like weird weird weird , I am pretty sure there would be a new therapy group based on this!
In 1 months time, I mentioned I am not a FAST learner right?! well yah I couldn't ignore crazy anymore and walked ... and then cuz I was lonely and maybe a tad pathetic, I can admit it I am a big girl, I tried to be "just friends" but that didn't work and it took me awhile to figure out you just can't fix crazy and saw it all for what it was
he was a huge rebound into the realizations that YIKES, I was SO not ready and had to do a little self examination and a self esteem reboot and put my priorities back in line
I think I am there... ok well almost!!
I have managed to escape the "dating" scene since then .... didn't say I didn't have any other experiences... just didn't "date" :) but that's another post !! total teaser in which I am really saying if I leave you hanging a little you might come back and read my blog some more :) yes I am that pathetic... told ya so!
this Friday night I embark on my first real date in a long time... I am nervous then hell, extremely excited, with a side more nervous .. I will most likely have to self talk myself all through dinner to NOT talk about my kids and my ex and how I was scorned and blah blah blah
stay tuned .... please???!!!!!
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